Release

"There is a release that comes when conquoring the unknown, giving freedom and flight beyond your wildest dreams." ~CM Beauty Johnson


As I begin a new chapter in my life, I can't help but be a little fearful, excited, and yet regretful all at the same time. Afraid of the unknown, excited about the possibilities that lie before me, and regretful of the goals that fell by the wayside missing their own accomplishing moments in this journey.

Stepping forward I see a wealth of opportunities. Spiritual growth is an important part of this journey, and dictates where I will one day end up when all is said and done. I see milestones of my children as they jump from childhood into adulthood, and I look back at how quickly the time has passed. How I wish I could savor just one more moment of that 3 year old daughter (now age 20) who clumsily ran the bases of the baseball diamond in the wrong direction, or that 2 yr old son (now age 19) who would climb on top of anything without a fear in the world. I look into the eyes of my 16 yr old and see a man on the verge of breaking through and just wanting to hold it off for a while longer. I see a young teen struggling for his place between childhood and responsibility, with my heart wanting to scream out "Pick Childhood!!!" My 7 yr old daughter, a little mother herself. I see in her all the things she sees in me and pray for the guidence to be a good example, as I know she is always watching and learning. My 6 yr old Autistic son... the one who will undoubtedly stay young the longest. He brings a unique joy to our family and to my heart like no other. The world seen through his perspective... a new and exciting wonder. Lastly and surly not least... the 9 month old grandson. Oh how my heart leapt as I became for the first time 'Gramma'. You think your cycle is over in the regards of child rearing when you have your last... and then there is the joy of grandparenting. A new adventure in its own right.

I look at my friendships. I see those who come along for short times and bless my life by just having known them. I have friends who are lifelong... these are few... but are a richness beyond measure. New friends that I know not what their station will become, but for now have been a comfort and companionship as we find where the road takes us.

So today, I ready myself for the Release. The letting go of old hurts, the wiping away of negativity, the discarding of failures. It's a time of release in every sence... a time to begin and to embrace challenges and to really put my heart and self into them... so in the next 40 years I can feel the accomplishments more than failures, and be ready to move forward to an awaiting celestial glory.