Wednesday, July 9, 2008

The Adventures of Mr Gleam

It was a hot and balmy evening in early June. The air was heavy with humidity that left one feeling like they had stepped into a steam room. The only real noticeable difference, no benches, no sweltering hot rocks to pour water over for steam, and no fat hairy men in towels. The sounds of hissing cicada bugs and the croaking of tree frogs filled the night air. It was all you could hear, even through the closed windows of the secure houses. Our air conditioning was set at 70 degrees to combat the evening humidity. A low hum in the background as the air conditioner cycled, was the icing on the cake when it came to the usual evening bravado.

It was nearly 8pm when it happened. A piercing scream came from the distance, from out of nowhere. A scream shrill enough to make your toes curl. None of us knew where it came from, but we knew someone had to find out.It only took moments before the scream became louder and the mystery was solved. A lovely young damsel was running screaming for help! She was beautiful... almost angelic! Her long blonde hair flowing behind her, like ripples on the ocean, as she ran. Her piercing blue eyes were filled with terror. Her fair skin, like new fallen snow, unblemished. As she ran by us, we quickly realized her screams of dismay. Close on her heels in hot pursuit was the Booger Man! (not to be confused with the Boogie Man) He ran behind her, finger extended with a globules mass affixed to it, cackling wildly "No Pass! No Pass!" In sheer horror, we gathered ourselves and loved ones, and ran for the nearest and safest places. Our hearts half beating out of our chests, we crouched low in dark corners hoping not to be spotted. Not wanting to be the next victims.

What I witnessed next was more than I could ever imagine to have witnessed in my lifetime. The young boy, peered over his glasses. He looked around to make sure he was alone. Not knowing I was watching, he reached up and removed them and cast them aside. In an instant he was transformed from a typical young boy into The Gleam! My surprise almost gave away my location as I gasped at what I had witnessed.

At once, he leapt into action, and immediately, chase gave way. "Come and get me!" he says with pursed lips, taunting the Booger man further. Feeling victory within his grasp, the Booger Man extends his booger laden finger towards The Gleam, and with a wry smile on his face sprang towards him in fervent delight! I was sure it was the end of Mr. Gleam! I was positive he would be wiped with the booger and helplessly bound with the "No Pass" rule. Instead, to my delight, out comes the most powerful weapon of our time! Mr. Gleam parts his lips and there it is!! A bright white gleaming smile! So bright, it blinds the Booger Man, and he shrinks away into the darkness, muttering... "We will meet again!"

We all came out from the shadows and cheered wildly for Mr. Gleam. He whips out his toothbrush, brushes his teeth, and waves as he disappears into the night. We were saved!!

I will never forget this night. Perhaps, it didn't exactly happen in the manner I have recounted. Perhaps it is instead a simple game, between a father and his kids, called the booger game. One feigns a nose pick and wipes it on another, yelling "no pass" , giving them immunity from that person's retalliation. The fair damsel, our daughter, running wildly away from daddy as he attempts to get her. And perhaps, the 'Clark Kent' of the story, glasses and all, is my 6 yr old son, getting ready for bed in the midst of this game. And although, it may have been a simple 5 minute joust between them, I am sure my recollection recited above is more like the story my 6 year old son remembers of that night. As he flashed his smile at his dad, making a 'gleaming' sound effect, repelling his father who is then unable to make the dreaded booger wipe. He becomes the hero as daddy feigns blindness from his newly brushed teeth. For myself, I think I prefer my sons version; my little super hero, with gleaming white teeth for his super power. For I know, in a not so distant future, Mr. Gleam will be a thing of the past, and my super hero son will be mortal once again.