Dreams...

Have you ever had one of those dreams that when you wake up, it just felt so real, that it sticks with you? You wake up feeling anxious because it was scarey, sad because it was difficult, or excited because of its great news or positive message... Well last night I had one of those kinds of dreams. It was quite interesting that... you were a intricate part in it. Here is what I remember... and I remember a lot, and I dream in color. So imagine how very real it felt to me.

I was sitting in the foyer at church talking to the bishop who was relaying to me how Tanner has things he needs to do on his mission and his actions can impact our family either adversely or positively. If he chooses to not follow the things he is outlined and abide by the rules, then our whole family could be the ones who suffer for his wrong doings. It was as though he was warning me. I realize this stems from the fact that I know that Tanner is doing things he shouldnt be doing while on his mission and it bothers me that he has not humbled himself to follow ALL the rules. So yes, looking into my dream now, I can pick out things that make sense as to the context of some of my dream.

The next thing I remember was sitting in the cultural hall with my kids at a table. Not typical tables and chairs but these were cafeteria type tables. Across the gym walks in Brother & Sister Knight (who are currently serving a mission in the Canary Islands). I was not surprised to see them and they came and sat beside me. They asked me if tanner had been writing home. Not e-mails, but writing, where he had to sit and reflect on his days spent and actually have to recount his activities and see the blessings. I replied No. Only email, and they are very brief. Brother Knight tells me it is imparative that he focus on hand writing Home. His growth will expound by doing this because he will have to take time to reflect on what his mission is all about. He has time, not limited time like he has with the computer. Encourage his to do this. Sister Knight then pulls out 2 letters they had received from Tanner, hand written, and said to me “He is doing fine. Don’t worry.” They both hugged me and walked out of the room. Tanner told me weeks ago he had written me a letter but it has never arrived. I know it is lost somewhere in the mail system, and I don’t know if I will ever get it. Feels like a lost little piece of him that I can’t attain.

Jordan and I make our way out the door of the gym and turn to look down the hallway. We stop in front of the Relief society room as I see 3 young men walking side by side towards us, smiling. Each wearing white shirts, ties, and dark pants. No missionary badges, and they were so much like grown men to me. All were smiling and fixed their eyes on me as they walked toward us. I instantly began to cry as I saw who it was... Each of you. Zac, Derek, and Jim. In turn each of you hugged me, and Zac tells me “We know you are missing tanner this holiday, so we are ‘home’ to spend them with you in his stead.” All of you smiling now from ear to ear. Jim steps toward me and holds out a blue envelope saying “I went to the post office, searched and found this for you. I know you have been waiting for it.” It was the letter tanner said he had sent that I never got. I hugged you tight Jim and cried.

Next thing I remember is that we were all sitting at the house at the table talking. Zac chimes in “ I understand Jordan will be serving in China on his mission.” I asked you how you knew that, and you replied “I just do.” You look at Derek who nods in agreement and adds “Alleah will be serving in Australia, and Alex is going to Brazil.” I asked How do you guys know this, in disbelief. Looking into your laps, then with conviction that only you Zac, could ever convince me of, you tell me with a quiet peaceful tone in your voice saying ”The same way Jim knew you needed that letter.”

I don’t remember anything else except waking up feeling kind of sad, but also felt like I had a wonderful visit with my 3 favorite missionaries. I don’t know why my dream was what it was. But I am sure there are parts of my psyche that are unsettled that played a large part in it. I also believe that things I was told, were things that was being told to me in a way I would hear, understand, and accept them... perhaps the Lord was counseling me. As for the 3 of you... I guess the knowing that I can always find comfort in the 3 young men that had holidays in my home while they served their missions, and how much I appreciate, respect, and adore each of you... makes perfect sense why thoughts and memories of each of you were sent.

As for Zac & Derek... if my kids go to China, Australia, and Brazil... just know I am going to come find you for this prophesy! Wouldn’t that be just entirely crazy weird?! I Love you all!